I no longer feel like this, I have conqured my fears, and trusted, and love...... I now have new fears like weather or not I will burn dinner......LOL
Friday, June 22, 2007
Scared
You know that there is not much that scares me. I do have fears…Fears that I have not experienced in years. Fears that I thought that I conquered, but now I know I had no fear because I knew how Mark felt about me at all times. Even when he was at his meanest, I knew that it was his pain and his own monsters that he was battling.
I know that my current fears are fears that go with not knowing weather or not others feel about you the way that you feel about them. They steam from learning to trust others even when nagging doubts fill you mind (because of passing comments made in jest), and fear that if you do you will be played.
You know that those fears are irrational, stupid and illogical. Yet I have them from time to time. I think that this is normal; everyone must go through some degree of this. After all I am my own worse enemy.
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